family – The Noontimes

Matthew 18:21-35: The Unforgiving Servant

Matthew 18:21-35: The Unforgiving Servant

Thursday, January 8, 2026

It is so very difficult to forgive those who have wronged us grievously; and it is also difficult to curb the pressing urge to seek revenge against our enemies. Jesus tells us today that we must endlessly forgive those who harm us, otherwise we are like the unforgiving servant in today’s parable. And the frightening outcome of his life is not one we want for ourselves or our loved ones.

Seventy-seven times, we are told by scholars and experts, represents a number of completion. By forgiving endlessly we near the perfection or completion we yearn for. The irony here is that when we become the unforgiving servant we distance ourselves from the very fullness we seek. We label ourselves as partial and lacking. Jesus warns us of this today.

Luke also records that Jesus tells his followers they must forgive endlessly (17:4). This is something they and we struggle to understand. Our instincts tell us to attack, defend, justify and explain. We want to come out of any dispute or confrontation as the clear and evident winner. We want to survive. For most of us it is difficult to walk away from an argument or to allow another to have the last word; yet Jesus tells us that our first step toward wholeness is to forgive. Reconciliation will follow if we remain open. Isolation, anger and fear become more distant and even impossible when we turn our backs on revenge and seek union instead. Jesus calls us to this today.

St. Paul reminds the Ephesians (4:32) to be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. Which one of us, he implies, is so perfect that we cannot forgive? And how do we hold a grudge when Jesus – God among us – does not? St. Paul points this out to us today.

ThumbLg_immaculee[1] — *Immaculée Ilibagiza*

Following the horrific genocide in Rwanda, the warring Hutus and the Tutsis were brought together in a journey from fighting to forgiveness. We follow events as they unfold; we want this reconciliation to work because this coming together of bitter enemies tells us that we are worth redeeming. It shows us what God sees in us. It reminds us of God’s covenant promise to us. Powerful testimonials to our capacity to forgive can be found in both print and video media and here are only a few examples.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK0W4jx2OZY

https://www.un.org/en/preventgenocide/rwanda/backgrounders.shtml

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/08/1243366143/remembrance-and-reconciliation-30-years-after-the-rwandan-genocide-began

When we read, hear or view these stories, we take heart. We once again bolster ourselves for the difficult yet redeeming task of forgiving others. We once more feel the stirrings of hope in our tired hearts. We again pull ourselves away from our fear to love our enemies into goodness.

Kill them with kindness, my mother always advised, taking her example from Jesus. Let God worry about the other guy, Dad always told us, knowing that evil is too enormous and too dangerous for us to conquer on our own. In her book entitled Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Genocide, Immaculée Ilibagiza tells her story that echoes those of so many other holocaust survivors that God resides even in the center of hell itself if that is where he has to be in order to save us. This is how much God loves us. This is how much we can love one another.

When we feel ourselves drawn into this story as the master or the servants, we know that it holds something for us. When we find ourselves giving over to the anger within us and fear that it will control our thoughts, words and actions, we will want to turn to this story. When someone who has wronged us approaches us in humble fear of our retaliation, let us reach out a warm and welcoming hand and remember the words that Jesus taught us to pray . . . Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And let us remember the story of the unforgiving servant.

A re-post from January 17, 2012.

Images from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/415105290665982082/ and https://speaking.com/speakers/immaculee-ilibagiza/

To read more about Immaculée Ilibagiza, see: http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Most-Inspiring-Person-Of-The-Year/2006/Immacule-Ilibagiza.aspx

For more on Rwanda’s recovery from genocide, https://www.cfr.org/in-brief/thirty-years-after-rwandas-genocide-where-country-stands-today

January 8, 2026

forgiveness, revenge, family, wholeness, completion, Luke 17:4, Ephesians 4:32, Rwanda, Immaculée Ilibagiza

Matthew 9:35-38: Epiphany

Matthew 9:35-38: Epiphany

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

00.159.30_PS1[1] — *James Tissot: The Magi Journeying*

E-piph-an-y: A Christian festival, the manifestation of a deity, a sudden intuitive perception or insight, a piece of literature presenting a revelation. These definitions define the holiday or the emotion, the state of being surprised by something we already know but have not yet acknowledged. This word may also define our relationship with Christ. Today we encounter Jesus in the midst of his work and this is what we find.

Jesus teaches. Jesus proclaims the Good News that we are free to choose life over death. Jesus heals. Jesus is moved with compassion at the sight of the crowds. All of this goodness is what God has in mind for us. All of this kindness is what God has in store for us. All of this love is what God intends for us. And this is what the Magi come to honor and worship.

In our Western tradition we have come to know these three men as Melchior, a scholar from Babylon, the place of Israel’s exile about six centuries before Christ’s birth, Caspar, another scholar from Persia, the civilization that overran the Babylonians, and Balthazar, an Arab scholar. These learned men bring gifts of frankincense, myrrh and gold that serve as symbols for our own worship of the Son of Man. Frankincense, aromatic incense, is brought to purify the Lord; myrrh, perfumed oil often used in embalming, is offered to anoint the Lord; and gold, the symbol of power, is presented to honor the Lord. Some commentary suggests that the Magi bring forward these gifts for medicinal purposes; others propose that they are meant as tribute to this new kind of high priest, savior and king. Still others say that these gifts stand in stark contrast to the sacrificial gifts of birds, lambs and oxen that the Jewish people proffered to God. In any interpretation the story holds importance for us for these men have spent their lifetime studying the heavens and their search leads them to a small place in a small town where this small Jewish family shelters for a time. Who is more surprised? The Magi themselves? Mary and Joseph? The shepherds who tend their flocks and follow the Magi who follow the star? Or are we perhaps the most surprised?

All of this is tradition as we have said earlier but we hold and cherish this belief in the story of the Magi for a purpose. We love to hear the names read out rhythmically. We want to listen to the details of this story again. We want the mystery and surprise of this holy night to roll over us and wrap us in the warm and holy mystery of the Christ. We want to be children for a little time again.

When I was small my Eastern European grandmother made doughnuts and inside them she had hidden shiny, bright coins. Who would find the pennies, the dimes? Who would be lucky enough to encounter the rare quarter? Children understand how important it was to nibble the edges of the pastry carefully. Children know the importance of joyful anticipation. Children understand wonder and surprise. As adults we want the confirmation from these intelligent students of the heavens and stars. As adults we want to be affirmed that the Good News we have heard is true. As adults we want someone to stun us with a vivid and beautiful truth. We want the verification that wonderful surprises lie ahead of us. We want to see and hear and touch the reality of the Christ Child.

Velazquez_adoration_of_magi_thumb[1] — *Diego Velázquez: The Adoration of the Magi*

On this Epiphany let us resolve to believe more and doubt less. Let us decide to act on our beliefs and turn away from a cynical view of the world. Let us announce to the world that we will love our enemies into goodness. Let us bow in homage to the Christ child. Let us lay at his feet the incense of our own suffering and the joy of our hearts. Let us come and worship the Lord. And let us allow ourselves to experience the surprise and enchantment of the Epiphany -just as God has intended.

A re-post from January 6, 2012.

Images from: https://www.brooklynmuseum.org/opencollection/objects/4436 and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adoration_of_the_Magi_%28Vel%C3%A1zquez%29

For another reflection on the Epiphany, enter the word Reminders in the blog search bar and explore.

January 6, 2026

children, Christmas, enchantment, family, frankincense, gold, Magi, myrrh

Matthew 2:13-15: Flight

Matthew 2:13-15: Flight

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Each year my students and I study the topic of immigration and one of the questions I ask – in Spanish, of course, since theirs is a Spanish class – is what year their families immigrated to the U.S. Each time I ask there is a student or two whose family has an ancestor from a North American indigenous tribe. Each year there are first generation Americans, and sometimes there are even students whose families have recently arrived in the U.S. We discuss who and what it means to be “American” and we open our horizon to understand that anyone born in the Americas is actually American. This is always something the girls have to chew on for a bit. We remind ourselves that in Spanish there is an adjective that describes someone from the U.S. . . . estadounidense. This causes some frowns along with knowing nods.

As we wrap up this annual discussion, I ask the girls to return the next day with the name of a famous refugee or immigrant without whom the course of human history would be less light and more dark. They like this task. When they return to class we hear the typical names and some students even go back to ancient narratives to name the Hebrews and their struggles in foreign lands; but they rarely name the Holy Family. When I refer to the “angel’s warning to Joseph” that we read in today’s Noontime, students think I refer to the dream in which Gabriel appears to encourage Joseph to take Mary as a wife even though she is with child. I always think it sad that we somehow stop the Christmas story before we arrive at a most important point that Jesus and his family flee persecution and move to another land where they speak another language, learn about new customs, and earn and spend different currency. This is such a good lesson for a language classroom, particularly in today’s climate.

This discussion often engenders a good conversation about borders, frontiers, empire, colonization, passports and identity documents. We talk about how St. Paul made his famous evangelization journeys without having to apply for visas or travel papers or check in at border crossings. We also discuss the influence of families in the colony of Costa Rica and speculate about how the presence – or absence – of women and children in the formative stages of nation building shapes and forms a national psyche. We discuss human conduct, human tribalism and the treatment of those within and outside of our own tribe. These discussions are always rewarding for the students and for me. I never fail to learn something new.

Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night . . .

I am reminded of my own family history of Europeans who rose to depart from familiar places to arrive at foreign shores in the 18^th, 19^th and 20^th centuries. My mother was a first-generation American while my dad’s family was here to fight in the Revolutionary War. My mother’s family taught their offspring the value of personal freedom, they all registered and voted, and they remembered their roots in a South Philadelphia polyglot neighborhood where English was spoken with many heavy, foreign accents. My father’s family was a mixture of old world lineage with newcomer spunk. Both families raised feisty, independent, community building youngsters who cared about family, church and home. They knew the heartache of uprooting and leavings. They all left loved ones behind knowing that they would never embrace or kiss again. They understood the importance of the cover of darkness and the promise of daylight at the end of an arduous journey.

Rise, take the child and his mother, flee . . .

We live in a world of 8 billion people who are on the move yet long for stability. Many of us encounter hostility and violence even as we look for security and dependability. We are all God’s people yet some of us want clear boundaries that close us into protective enclaves while others of us look to open up locked doors to let in fresh air. But the commonality we hold – whether we want to admit this or not – is this, that in God’s kingdom we are all refugees arriving at God’s open gate in various states of disarray and need. In God’s kingdom we have all taken flight to jostle into a newness that we hope for yet dread. In God’s kingdom we are sisters and brothers trailing along dragging the suitcases we will not be needing. In God’s kingdom we have all taken flight together to arrive at the newness of God’s sure promise.

A re-post from October 24, 2011.

Image from:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Flight_into_Egypt_%28Rembrandt%29

November 18, 2025

family, Holy Family, immigrants, indigenous peoples, kingdom, refugees

Ruth 3: Chesed Part IV – Ruth Presents Herself

Friday, July 16, 2021

Ruth 3

Chesed Part IV – Ruth Presents Herself

The story of Ruth is a story with characters who “are presented as models who live faithful to the spirit of the covenant even in the difficult situations of life”. (Senior RG 141) It is believed to be a true story and is best read with notes in order to understand the plight of Naomi and her daughter-in-law, the customs of land ownership, the Levirate marriage contract, the tradition of allowing widows to glean food from a harvested field, the remarkable strength of Ruth’s fidelity to her mother-in-law, and the noble loyalty of Boaz who is drawn to Ruth’s kindness and piety. As we have investigated this story, we have thought about how God moves and works through people, is ever faithful and always at hand. Today we can focus on the last verse of chapter 3 when Naomi says to Ruth, “Wait here, my daughter, for the man will not rest, but will settle the matter today”. These words describe true integrity, true honesty, true clarity, and true holiness. This man will not rest until he settles a matter of honor – and he will do this before the sun sets. This man will not let anything stand in the way of doing what he knows he is called to do. This man sets aside his own humanity to do the will of the divine. Again from the Readers’ Guide page RG 145: “The double meaning [of the word for feet or genitals in Hebrew] may be intended to rouse the interest of the audience, ‘to raise a few eyebrows,’ only to show that the unusual steps taken by Ruth [and recommended by Naomi] do not end up in an illicit sexual union, but reveal the honorable character of Boaz. He does not take advantage of Ruth, but agrees to take the necessary steps to marry her. He ensures her reputation is not ruined and sends her away with six measures of barley”.

The marriage of these two honorable people results in the birth of a child, Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David, the ancestor of Jesus. It is the beautiful story of how people who respond to God’s call can transform tragedy into something blessed and holy. It is also the story of God’s constant presence in our lives as we accompany one another, share our grief, and move toward the light of truth. The action begins with emptiness which is reversed by the end of the tale. “The emptiness of the land (famine) causes Naomi to leave the land. The emptiness of the land gives way to the emptiness of Naomi in the loss first of husband and then sons. Naomi dismisses her daughters-in-law because her ‘emptiness’ cannot be cured . . .” And so she returns home so that she will not be a widow in a foreign place, but not alone. Ruth follows her. Back in Bethlehem, Naomi who finds herself empty of everything that previously had meaning, says the words in 3:18. She recognizes the goodness in Boaz and Ruth and she supports the young woman who waits for the man of integrity to do what he must do to claim her as his wife. Blessings and graces follow.

And so we pray . . .

Good and generous God, make us instruments of your work as were Naomi, Ruth and Boaz. Send us the words to say, the acts to perform, the prayers to raise as we enter the difficult situations of life and the pockets of emptiness around us. Send us your word that we may do your work to bring joy out of mourning. We ask this as always in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Image from: http://www.reformedchristianity.org/virtues/friendship/1659-ruth-and-naomi.html

Senior, Donald, ed. THE CATHOLIC STUDY BIBLE. New York, Oxford University Press, 1990.RG 141. Print.

Adapted from a favorite written on August 31, 2007.

July 16, 2021

Boaz, chesed, family, fidelity, gleaning, goodness, honesty, honor, integrity, Naomi, piety, Ruth, wisdom

Ruth 4: Chesed – Part III

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Ruth 4

Chesed – Part III

So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.

This is a beautiful story about women, a happy story about what marriage is meant to be. It is also a story about constancy, fidelity, perseverance, family, ancestry, and a deep abiding love which puts the other before self. It is an image of how we might be with, and in and through Christ. It is a metaphor for the relationship we have already been gifted by our creator.

This is not a long book and still it is saturated with imagery and peopled by characters worthy of any Jane Austen novel or Shakespearean play. “The book of Ruth . . . is one of the most beautiful pieces of literature in the Bible. The plot revolves around family relationships . . . and the role each member plays in fulfilling the needs of other members and hence the family as a whole”. (Meeks 408)

Some of us have families we might turn to; others of us do not. Some of us are born into clans that suffocate us and so we strike out on our own to build community; others find themselves in a large caring tribe that lets no one fall behind during the trek. All of us are born into the family of God and in this family there will be Naomis, and Ruths and Boazes: people who know the value of “loyalty of faithfulness arising from commitment” which in the Hebrew community is known as chesed. Naomi guides her widowed daughters-in-law (women without men were less than human in this era). Ruth abides with Naomi to share whatever destiny comes to them. Boaz preserves both the family inheritance and individual family members in a respectful and considerate way. All three understand the importance to continuity and to the fulfillment of a pledge at cost to self. (Meeks 408) All three listen for and to God. All three find a way to follow God, to preserve legacy, and to further a lineage that produces the Messiah of the human race. And all of this without accepting abuse or losing self.

We might spend some time today with this story and with our own reflection on how we embody chesed as we weave our lives. Do we respect the traditions of the clan? Do we provide for and abide with those who are marginalized? Do we do what is just and merciful even when this may be painful? Do we gather in the harvest at the expense of others? Do we leave the gleanings for those who have none and protect them as they forage? Do we listen for the voice that calls us to strange lands and yet abides? Do we intentionally commit our own acts of chesed? And if so . . . what are they?

For more information on the beautiful story of Naomi and Ruth, click on the image above or go to: http://www.womeninthebible.net/paintings_ruth.htm

Adapted from a Favorite written on October 1, 2009.

July 15, 2021

Boaz, chesed, family, fidelity, gleaning, goodness, honesty, honor, integrity, Naomi, piety, Ruth, wisdom

1 Timothy: Community

1 Timothy: Community

Friday, July 14, 2017

We share these reflections from Holy Week of 2007 while I am away from electronics. Keeping all of you in prayer each day at noon.

Use those words [of prophecy] as weapons in order to fight well, and keep your faith and a clear conscience. (Verses 18-19)

Once we have examined ourselves and become vulnerable to God, we will allow ourselves to form a true community, one with the hallmarks of Humility, Purity, Family, Justice and Mercy.

Paul’s advice to Timothy – and to us – reminds us that we rest in the Old Testament as we enact the New.

When we use the scripture link and commentary to explore this letter, we find words that bring new energy to old worries, new healing to old wounds, and new life to old communities.

July 14, 2017

family, humility, justice, mercy, purity

Tag: family

Matthew 18:21-35: The Unforgiving Servant

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Matthew 9:35-38: Epiphany

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Matthew 2:13-15: Flight

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Ruth 3: Chesed Part IV – Ruth Presents Herself

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Ruth 4: Chesed – Part III

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1 Timothy: Community

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